Monday, February 15, 2010

Thursday, February 11, 2010


I'm not writing with a purpose today I am just writing because I want to. I have to say, one of the major remnants of mormonism in me, which may have been an innate personal characteristic regardless of religious inculcation, is my absolute love of learning. I find that when I am not reading a book, or learning something new, I feel much less like myself. I have created a sort of public persona that really goes along with it too. For most of my life, I have felt some amount of pressure to live up to this persona; to always be learning a language, reading a dense book, or visiting an interesting country.

As a form of self-exploration I have, over the last few years, taken some time off from such lofty pursuits. I have spent quite a bit of time watching VERY delectable VERY trashy television (flavor of love 1, 2, AND 3-- nuff said), and have allowed myself a respite from my usual language studies. I haven't learned any weird alphabets and I haven't impressed co-workers by rereading "Heart of Darkness". I did, however, spend some time last Halloween speaking Russian to a random cab driver while dressed like Taylor from the Rachel Zoe Project. My cast mates were duly impressed, but I have to admit I was resting on the laurels of past linguistic pursuits. To illustrate, I was NOT speaking Hindi withe cab driver on the way home or even discussing the 5 Ks of Sikhism with him. And that haunts me to this day.

Just kidding.

But truthfully, after this self allowed cocoon from a persona greatly tied to my upbringing I have emerged the best butterfly I can be right now in my life. I have realized 2 wonderful things about myself: 1) that I feel most alive and most healthy emotionally and spiritually speaking when I am in the process of learning something exhilarating and fascinating and 2) I don't have to be doing it all the time to be a valid, whole, and happy human being. The "self" has no actual need for such rigidity after all! I think we are all expansive enough to realize and ACCEPT that we can be flexible with ourselves; even our own image of ourselves, and still be US. Not studying language did not take away my Clarkness. I didn't know that before, but now that I do, I can let my reading and studying and learning enhance my Clarkness instead of define it.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


This is so funny to me!

Living for Liza in a sequined teal flowy top. YES QUEEN!!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Why not?

It just feels right to write today. Writing with the right to do so, and with the right writing attitude. Its all right. Right? Write. Maybe its the fact that a huge snowstorm is supposed to be hitting the city tonight, or maybe its just that my sister is starting a blog and that made me remember how much I like doing this, and how nice it is to write thoughts onto a screen and transform them into words. Irregardless, (one of my favorite controversial double negatives EVER) I'm posting today.

So much has happened, I took a marvelous trip to Spain and the south of France, I went BACK to chicago to do the Pre-Broadway tryout of The Addams Family, and now am back in the big apple for an indeterminate amount of time. This is odd: for the first time in probably 5 years (I'm guessing) I don't have any future flights booked. Although maybe thats more normal than I think. Most of my family and friends I guess are always planning a trip sometime in the next year. I am NOT, which is very unusual for me. I am in New York, or as my dear friend Carlos says, "la ciudad de muchos sueƱos, ojala que sean realizados, no quebrados". It appears for me, for the moment, they are being realizados. So I'm going with that.

Tonight Constantine and I are seeing Carmet at the Met Opera. Its a new production, and it promises to be promising. I am back in rehearsals during the day for our impending Broadway opening of Addams Family. We have a new director now, Jerry Zaks, who is being credited as "creative consultant", but who is 100% in charge in the rehearsal room. Our prior director is still attached to the project creatively, but is not currently in the room with us. We have been told he will join us sometime after we get to the theater. I am not allowed to share details that have not been made public, so I'll leave it at that. Its been fun though, almost every show that is opening in the next several months is rehearsing in the same building, so were all one happy Broadway family. Were into the theater in about a week and a half. Here is our marquis.

Well thats all for now!