Thursday, May 14, 2009

Yoga Mind Revelations - Part 2

I am writing a part 2 because what I sat down to write no longer fit in what became part 1. I realized that I have 2 different ideas that came to my mind today.

After the class was over, I found myself to be in a very unguarded state of mind. There were these 2 girls talking and laughing in the lobby of the studio, and suddenly I wondered what my life would be like if I had married a woman. I thought to myself that I would probably have a couple of children by now, and wondered what that would feel like. I would love to have children one day, but I am not so determined to be a dad that I will ignore the data at hand. In other words, if it really works for my life to have children, then I think it will happen naturally. But if it doesn't-- if my career is such that I couldn't offer children a stable home etc., then I probably will not have children. This is quite a drastic change for me; I have always insisted that I will have children. So as I was disinfecting my yoga mat I thought about not having children as a potential reality for my life. That idea used to depress me, but now it does not.

I have read several books on multiple lives/reincarnation and found that a big part of me resonates with the concepts of that ideology. Intellectually it appeals to me because I like the idea of a consciousness that we get to bring a bit of past this life and into other ones. I also like the idea that parts of my personality are what they are because of things I have experienced past my own life's memory. But beyond that, I like the idea of reincarnation because it gives me a chance to accept my life fully. I get to have what I get to have, and even if I don't get certain things during this life, ie children, its ok! I have been a mother in other incarnations, I will be a father in others, and therefore I really do have it all. Within my body is a soul that has done it all dozens and dozens of times. I lack nothing. I have all that I need, and I don't need to mourn the losses of this life because this life is not the whole story.

Oddly, I feel that mormonism in some ways prepared me for belief in reincarnation. The pre-earth life, being an "intelligence" before I was created spiritually, being some sort of nebulous essence before that, and of course our life after this one-- in a way they are all incarnations. They are all new lives the connect with all the ones before and after.

Feeling connected to this idea-- choosing to believe that it could be true gives me a way to let go of feeling the pain of loss of something that is inevitably out of my control. What we get and don't get to experience in this life is somewhat in our hands, but it is also somewhat not. With what we can affect and control, we should go after all that we desire in this life, but if something we want is truly out of reach, we can accept that and know it has already been attained in the past, or will come to us down the road. But in the meantime, we should keep reaching-- because its good for us.


Wyatt said...

Clark! This is brilliant! Do you realize what you are saying? You've basically spelled out the essence of happiness, that we are all of us interconnected and at the core 'whole.' We are beings of expanded magnitude and collective consciousness of experiences.

Isn't being whole fantastic? This life is just a brief stop in the school of learning. There is not test there is not right or wrong because we learn the lesson regardless. It's just up to us to decide how we are going to learn the lesson: love and trust or doubt and fear.

As for me and my house I choose Love and Trust, bitches!

Wyatt said...

PS When I see you in two days we're going to continue our Bikram series photo montage IN CHICAGO! Can't wait, boo!

Jon said...

That's funny, I also feel like my Mormon upbringing has helped me to accept the idea of reincarnation, but I've never heard anyone else say it. I think it could really fit into the idea of eternal progression. Each new life builds on the next and contributes to the eternal progression of our souls.

So Clark, I've been reading your blog for a few months and find that a lot of what you say resonates with me. I am in a similar position/stage of life that you are in...although maybe a few steps behind. I wanted to send an email and ask you some questions but couldn't find an email address. If you're up for fielding some questions, let me know how to contact you.

Love and trust, bitches, love and trust!

Joe Conflict said...

I've read a few books on reincarnation by a psychiatrist who sort of discovered it accidentally in his practice. As I read it I was stunned by the sense in it, and none of what I was reading felt "wrong." Thanks for sharing.


Wyatt.. I was just thinking the same thing. We should try to finish that shiz. Don't you agree???

Jon-- feel free to email me at Im here for you.

Joe -- I know EXACTLY what books you are referring to.. many lives many masters, only love is real, one soul many bodies-- that is how I was introduced to the topic as well! in fact, wyatt told me to read them! Full circle.

Love and trust bitches.. I am laughing thats so brilliant.

jeanenemarie said...

Clark, you are so intelligent, and such a great writer! I too love the idea of reincarnation, and my husband mentioned it in a class Sunday and he was totally jumped on by the other guys! Not unexpected, considering where he was. We keep expecting (hoping?) to be exced!

Karyn Mann said...

As for me and my house, I also chose love and trust. However, the assholes next door keep mucking up the neighborhood! okay, maybe I could work on this a little more.
Love you!