The Racial Backpedal

This is my cast's newest spoof! Co-conceived and co-directed by yours truly! Enjoy

My Feelings on Prop 8

I found this video this morning and it really reflects my overall feelings on the upholding of prop 8. I am just not going to let this get me down in any way. I know that we have time on our side, and I do feel marriage equality is inevitable in this country. I like what this guy says here-- that even though this news is hard to take, it is positive because furthering the dialogue about marriage equality will speed up the process of marriage equality. What are your thoughts?

Popcorn with Wyatt

One of my bestest friends in the whole world, Wyatt Darling came and visited me in Chicago last weekend. We had SUCH a great time just living our lives. One specific thing we have talked about doing for a long time is making a video discussing our experiences as gay mormons. Wyatt, like me, served a 2 year mission in Mexico and attended BYU. If you have a few minutes on your hands and want to hear our perambulations regarding Mormonism and homosexuality, then I cordially invite you to JUMP IN.

The video has 5 parts.. they are all imbedded and should play one after the next!

BOOYA BITCH

I have posted somewhat on this "enhanced interrogation" issue-- aka torture. We even made a spoof about it! In recent news, Nancy Polosi has contradicted the CIA's claim that she knew about the torture methods being employed to extract information from detainees. Now whether she is lying about not knowing to cover her ass, or whether she really didn't know DOESN'T MATTER nearly as much as the fact that these things were allowed to happen. No one can tell yet whether Cheney was the originator of these ideas, but from how much he has been talking lately compared to his usual secretive approach to everything, it would seem he has something to hide. Here is a clip from the view from the other day.. Jesse Ventura vs. Elizabeth. Bam.

Pink Dot

I posted this a little while back, and I wanted you to see the rest of it. Its absolutely amazing and so profound yet simple. Its a pink dot seen from high above made up of people who are seeking tolerance and love. Its a pink dot of love.

This is such a coincidence

I was at work the other day on my phone just checking texts, emails, reading status updates, making an online reservation, playing cribbage, ordering flowers, and listening to fantastic music. I suddenly was just filled with happiness because I love my iphone so much. I just announced to all my dressing room-mates that I loved my phone so much, and how pleased I am because it can basically do everything. I then said I wouldn't be surprised if someone invented a phone that is also a vibrator-- because these phones do so much these days why wouldn't they also fulfill you sexually as well!! Literally, after we laughed about how funny that would be to have a vibrator/phone we forgot about it. UNTIL THE NEXT DAY THIS APPEARED AT MY DRESSING STATION:



This is an OhMiBod. The future is already upon us people. This is a vibrator that is powered by your iphone/ipod and happens to detect the beat of your music and well, vibrates accordingly. Now you can take the Wilson-Phillips song and turn it into more than a tear jerker.

I find this outstanding, amazing, and completely hilarious. Go after it!!!!!

El cuartel brings you a very gay medley

This is our effort from last week.. i think you will like the song choice(s)

I love this

This is an event that will take place in Singapore at 4:30pm tomorrow. A group of people who support gay rights and awareness will dress in pink and stand together to be photographed from the air as a pink dot. Watch this beautiful video.

Open Letter to LDS Leaders

This appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune a few days ago. Amazing.
Last Wednesday, when Gov. John E. Baldacci signed the law granting gay marriage in Maine, he said:
"I did not come to this decision lightly. ... I opposed gay marriage [but] I have come to believe that this is a question of fairness and of equal protection under the law. ... The Maine Constitution states that 'no person shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law, nor be denied the equal protection of the laws, nor be denied the enjoyment of that person's civil rights or be discriminated against.' ... This new law does not force any religion to recognize a marriage that falls outside of its beliefs. ... Instead, it ... guarantees that Maine citizens will be treated equally under Maine's civil marriage laws, and that is the responsibility of government. ... My responsibility is to uphold the Constitution and do ... what is right."
I plead with Mormon leaders and members to emulate the reluctant governor of Maine, to ponder and study out in their minds just what "equal protection" means, and then fast and pray about giving gays the same justice you have begged for throughout your history. Do what is right!
Greg Reggio
Pleasant View

Gay Panic Attack

You guys I don't often have a gay panic attack, but I had one today because of this. I have been waiting for this FOREVER. Its the preview for the movie musical "NINE". Its one of my favorite scores (Sarah, surprisingly not a black musical).. so beautiful and intriguing. You guys.. this preview is freaking me out its so amazing.. and listen. This is FERGIE singing this song. Its out of control. Daniel Day Lewis plays Guido, Penelope Cruz is Carla, Marion Cotillard is Luisa Contini, Nicole Kidman is Claudia, Sophia Loren plays Guido's mother, Fergie is playing Saraghina, and Dame Judi Dench is playing Lilliane Le Fleur. I'm just speechless.

Yoga Mind Revelations - Part 2

I am writing a part 2 because what I sat down to write no longer fit in what became part 1. I realized that I have 2 different ideas that came to my mind today.

After the class was over, I found myself to be in a very unguarded state of mind. There were these 2 girls talking and laughing in the lobby of the studio, and suddenly I wondered what my life would be like if I had married a woman. I thought to myself that I would probably have a couple of children by now, and wondered what that would feel like. I would love to have children one day, but I am not so determined to be a dad that I will ignore the data at hand. In other words, if it really works for my life to have children, then I think it will happen naturally. But if it doesn't-- if my career is such that I couldn't offer children a stable home etc., then I probably will not have children. This is quite a drastic change for me; I have always insisted that I will have children. So as I was disinfecting my yoga mat I thought about not having children as a potential reality for my life. That idea used to depress me, but now it does not.

I have read several books on multiple lives/reincarnation and found that a big part of me resonates with the concepts of that ideology. Intellectually it appeals to me because I like the idea of a consciousness that we get to bring a bit of past this life and into other ones. I also like the idea that parts of my personality are what they are because of things I have experienced past my own life's memory. But beyond that, I like the idea of reincarnation because it gives me a chance to accept my life fully. I get to have what I get to have, and even if I don't get certain things during this life, ie children, its ok! I have been a mother in other incarnations, I will be a father in others, and therefore I really do have it all. Within my body is a soul that has done it all dozens and dozens of times. I lack nothing. I have all that I need, and I don't need to mourn the losses of this life because this life is not the whole story.

Oddly, I feel that mormonism in some ways prepared me for belief in reincarnation. The pre-earth life, being an "intelligence" before I was created spiritually, being some sort of nebulous essence before that, and of course our life after this one-- in a way they are all incarnations. They are all new lives the connect with all the ones before and after.

Feeling connected to this idea-- choosing to believe that it could be true gives me a way to let go of feeling the pain of loss of something that is inevitably out of my control. What we get and don't get to experience in this life is somewhat in our hands, but it is also somewhat not. With what we can affect and control, we should go after all that we desire in this life, but if something we want is truly out of reach, we can accept that and know it has already been attained in the past, or will come to us down the road. But in the meantime, we should keep reaching-- because its good for us.

Yoga Mind Revelations - Part 1

Every time I take bikram yoga it is a different and unique challenge for my body and for my mind. For those who do not know, bikram yoga is a practice comprising a series of postures performed each class for the same length of time, in the same order, and all in a room set at 105F and at 40% humidity. The postures in an of themselves are difficult, and have easy/harder variations, but what really pushes bikram into its own category is the heat. When I tell people that they should practice yoga and they say they are too ADD for yoga, I tell them to take bikram. Its so f*cking hot you can't be ADD. You are focused on how miserable it feels to be working your tail off and hotter than hell. If you practice often, its still a challenge, but not such an infernal one. I have been going a few times a week for the past month, so today was hard, but not torture. Last month, my first visit to this studio was also my first time to do bikram in over a year. It was torture.

Why would you torture yourself, one might ask? Often times bikram instructors will say during class, "youre giving yourself a mini heart attack now so that you can avoid the big ones later." Beyond avoiding heart attacks, the reason to go is simple: the benefit. If there were no benefit then it really would be torture. But the benefit is so incredible that you go back again and again to gain that clear mind, energized body, and enjoyment of your inner strength. My whole life I have struggled with a sense of fear that I won't make it. I remembered today as I was struggling in the hot room that during my mission I would count the months that I had completed, wondering how bad it would be to go home with that many months. I just didn't know if I could make it. When I got to 4 months.. then again when I got to 6. How bad am I going to look after only finishing 6 months? When I got past the one year mark I think I realized that I was going to make it. But I still struggle at times with that thought.. I don't know if I can make it.
When I was in High School I ran cross country. I remember that during every single race I would REALLY pace myself just in case it got really hard. I was afraid if I went full throttle I would just not make it to the end. Once my coach called me out on it: he said-- JOHNSEN! You need to RUN. You are not going to fold up like a wet noodle from pushing yourself. You are not going to die so RUN FASTER. He saw that I could run faster than I was running.

For me my life is a constant challenge of deciding that I can make it. Now as an adult I know that I can choose to just stay with it and trust that it won't kill me-- whatever the challenge is. Today I started getting really hot during the latter part of the class. I started to feel afraid that I would run out of energy, that I would overheat, or that I would become too uncomfortable for my threshold. Because I know I won't die, I just keep going. I faced that challenge today and I am proud of that. After that everything seems easy. I feel grateful for smaller challenges because they pale in comparison. Thats a big benefit in my life.

Blogging at Intermission

I've been so involved in extra curricular activities during my stint at Mary Poppins, I thought I might as well add blogging to my list of inter-show activities. Constantine is here again this weekend, and yesterday we had my second, his first trip to Oprah! I love having an Oprah hookup. Its just awesome to know that I can see the queen when I need to. I think for Constantine it was both amazing and somewhat disillusioning to see her show. Something about the camera and the TV in your home makes the medium seem so personal, so intimate, yet when you are at a filming, the audience is SO removed from the process. The host and guests are performing to the camera, not to you. Theater is so different because the performance is for the audience and the audience only. Not millions of unseen people out there in the dark. It was weird for him, but it was still amazing. We saw SEAL perform and talk about his 4th child.. a little girl! It was great.

I just took this picture of Justin and myself.. he still has some of his supercal/playing the game makeup on! Anyway, were at places so I'm off, but its been nice saying hi!!!

alone

I have not left my apartment since Sunday night. I mean it. Not even set foot into the hallway. Its not only a good way to clear out my DVR, catch up on phone calls, but its also EXTREMELY economical! I will not have spent even 1 cent in nearly 2 full days. That is pretty amazing. Whats even better, is that I just love being home by myself. I'm so content. I remember back in college and before I used to hate being by myself. I would make someone come with me to take out the trash or run a short errand! Maybe doing all these out of town jobs and tours has made it so that I had to learn to be alone. I guess in the process I learned also to like myself and enjoy my own company. I think I am so much easier on myself than I used to be, which is a big part of enjoying alone time. I used to beat myself up for EVERYTHING. No wonder I wanted other people around all the time: to buffer the way I treated myself! Anyway, its 5 de mayo so I just wanted to say hi and I hope everyone who reads this is having a great day, whether alone or with friends

HERE SHE IS BOYS!!!

I'm doing it

Tomorrow we are spoofing Miss California. And I am going to play her. In full drag. With both evening and swimsuit wardrobe. Its not going to be mean spirited, just spoof and hyperbole. My boyfriend thinks its a bad idea. Thoughts?

Crosspatch Takes On Torture

Many of you know about the "torture memos"-- documents recently released by the Obama administration that attempted to "legalize" certain acts as part of the interrogation process that have been internationally illegal since the Geneva Conventions. These law bending documents somehow explain how certain torturous acts are actually NOT torture, and justifies their use in interrogation. Waterboarding is one of these forms of torture that have been in use during the Bush administration with detainees from whom the US was trying to extract intelligence. One of the main authors of the documents is Jay Bybee, who is currently serving a federal judge on the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit. Bybee is also a BYU alumni!!!!! Who would have guessed? (answer: me) Its extremely freaky that someone who legally justified torture, a clear distortion of the law, is now interpreting law in our judicial system.

Hmmm.. How can we make a movie about torture memos, and still be tasteful... hmmm lets see. Oh I know! Watch.