Che farò senza Euridice

I am completely obsessed with the Met Opera HD Telecasts that are shown LIVE in theaters all over the world. There is about one every month. Last Saturday's was Orfeo et Euridice.. the story of a husband whose wife dies on their wedding day. Inconsolable, Orfeo, the husband, is visited by Cupid who tells him that he can get Euridice back by going down to Hades and taking her back. The one condition is that he must use music to get past the river Styx and the dead there.. and the other condition is that he must not look at Euridice until they reach the surface, nor tell her why. If he does, she will die again forever. Awakened from death, Euridice wants nothing more to than to be embraced by her lover. Orfeo, unable to look at her appears cold and unfeeling. On their way back to the surface she continues pushing him to look upon her, not understanding why he won't do so, notice her beauty, and comfort her. He cannot look at her and he cannot explain why. Eventually he feels so broken down by her sadness and complaints of his not loving her that he does look upon her at last. She dies again, and he returns to his agony. Then he sings the most famous aria from the Opera: Che faro senza Euridice? (what will I do without Euridice -- pronounced Eh-yur-ee-dee-chay) Its SO GORGEOUS! Traditionally the role was performed by a male castrato. Today a counter-tenor does it sometimes, but more often a mezzo sings the role dressed as a dude. In the HD telecast Stephanie Blythe sang the role. It was amazing. I just wanted to give you a little taste. This is a different artist-- a mezzo, but a great version.

QUEEN FEVER

Aretha's hat has created quite a stir. The minute she appeared on the TV screen the 1101001001010s started flying and text alerts where buzzing in people's pockets in a flurry of vibrations. A Flickr website has been dedicated to crowning other deserving "queens" with the sparkly regalia that was her hat. See them all here.

Here are several of my favorites.

The Light!

After what seems now like a year in technological oblivion, I have finally learned how to effortlessly get full movies onto my iPhone. Now I can become even better at quoting shit and making everyone who doesn't know the quote feel left out! SO MUCH FUN YOU GUYS.

My dear friend Craig did a lot of research and found that the best DVD ripper program for MAC computers is a program called iSkySoft. He was using the program last night and when i saw how easy it was, I decided I would come right home and download it. It does cost 40 bucks to license it, but if you are like me and want to make digital copies of your DVD library and you have a Mac computer, then it's well worth it. I already have Miss Congeniality, The Devil Wears Prada, and Chocolat on my iPhone. I'm LIVING! I just wanted to say that.

Vlog Header

Its not perfect but I have been wanting to do this for some time now-- a "what my videos are about" video to put at the top of my page. I used the YOUTUBE capture to record it which was VERY easy and VERY fast, but it cut off the last 8 seconds or so. I don't have time to fix it right now, so I thought I'd just leave it. Here it is

OTRA

You might think thats spanish for "other" but its not. Its an acronym for something I often run into: "On the Road Again" Yes that's right. Since it happens so often I figured I'd shorten it. I'm OTRA. Well, in a few days. Today I headed back to Astoria where I have been subletting since I got back from my last tour. Its been a great situation for me, and I have liked living here. Astoria is in Queens but its a quick train ride to midtown-- only about a 15 minute commute. A lot of actors live out here. The last month however I have not slept even one night here. In an impromptu attempt to move our relationship to the next level, Constantine and I have tried "living together" for the last month. The quotes are there because you're not really "living" with someone when you still have your own apartment to fall back on if things don't go the way you want them to. But I must say that overall its been quite successful. We have had the occasional SNAFU but that aside, I think it's been a positive thing. Taking a relationship to the next level can be risky though, as expectations tend to rise with more commitment. But you have to take those risks, right?

So today I'm back packing up my things to get ready to ship myself off to Chicago. I have decided to ship my big computer for my time there since I think it will be nice to have it since I will be in one place for so long. So I'm writing this last blog post on here (then I'll be laptopping it) and then sending it off to my apartment in Chicago! I am also filling up my suitcases and getting myself all ready for Tuesday. Our Addams Family reading presentation is at 3pm. After it ends, I will calmly go and get my bags, get in a cab and go to La Guardia for a 9:00pm flight. The next morning I will be at rehearsal bright and early in Chicago for Mary Poppins.

And just like that I'll go from being a ghoulish ancestor to a cheeky chimney sweep. That's showbiz kids.

Robert Louis Stevenson gets jiggy

When I was young my mom had us do choral readings. We all sort of made fun of it at the time, but none of us have forgotten those poems. For anyone who doesn't know, a choral reading is a group reading of a poem or other text, done with voices in chorus not set to music. Some lines would be done as solo lines, in groups, or omnes, like this:



Ill try to get one of the tapes of us doing the reading because its pretty brilliant. There are a lot of family rumblings going on that are extremely funny. My older brother Stuart is constantly disrupting and making fun of everything, my brother Guy is following him all the way in all his misbehavior, I am trying to micromanage EVERYONE into behaving, and in so doing am being a crazy nazi. Its a lot. ANYWAY, one of the choral reading sets we did was "3 poems by Robert Louis Stevenson." (we said this in chorus so I remember it). I'm blanking on the 3rd, but the 1st and 2nd were poems about our shadow, and sitting on a swing, respectively. Well the other day I stumbled on this poem by R.L. Stevenson, and I thought how funny it would have been to do this one as kids.

"You Looked So Tempting In the Pew"

You looked so tempting in the pew,
You looked so sly and calm -
My trembling fingers played with yours
As both looked out the Psalm.

Your heart beat hard against my arm,
My foot to yours was set,
Your loosened ringlet burned my cheek
Whenever they two met.

O little, little we hearkened, dear,
And little, little cared,
Although the parson sermonised,
The congregation stared.

Pretty steamy eh? Robert Louis was feeling it! I am thinking I should maybe find a few more poems like this and do an ADULT version of "3 poems by Robert Louis Stevenson".

GOBAMA

The White House page has listed, among other things, Obama's agenda for civil rights including specifically LGBT Community concerns.

Among them:
Expand Hate Crimes Statutes
Fight Workplace Discrimination
Support Full Civil Unions and Federal Rights for LGBT Couples
Oppose a Constitutional Ban on Same-Sex Marriage
Repeal Don't Ask-Don't Tell
Expand Adoption Rights
Promote AIDS Prevention
Empower Women to Prevent HIV/AIDS

Click here to read more about each. Its awesome that he and his chosen committees have started TODAY to outline their agendas for his term as president. It is comforting to know that there are people who are trying to look out for the civil rights minority groups in this country. GOBAMA!

Aretha's headwear and other Inaug thoughts

Yesterday at the "inaug" this is what Aretha was giving me. It was a real "yes queen" moment. A true true yes queen. You know its a serious affair when it basically looks like Sunday Best but hit with the bedazzler like there is no tomorrow. And one more thing I have to say.. YES GREY TONES!!! Get it girl. Her singing certainly had all the right spirit and soul, she just has a men's falsetto now though instead of a women's belt or mix. But vocal prowess aside, it was a WONDERFUL day.

Barack's choice to have Reverend Rick Warren, an outspoken opponent to gay marriage, deliver the inaug invocation was one questioned by many gay rights groups. However, at the end of the day, many felt that Warren's prayer (which I'll be honest I just couldn't get myself to listen to for some reason) was very inclusive and perhaps represented the beginnings of a dialogue between the gay and evangelical communities. That would certainly be helpful, as many gay people are people of faith, and a reconciliation of spirituality and sexuality in the world might help some trigger such a peaceful dialogue within their own hearts. We really need that. A lot of gay people of faith are still torn, distressed and suicidal. They shouldn't be. I'm not a prophet, but I can tell you that God does not want people to battle and rage against their own natures.

After the Rick Warren scuffles, openly gay Episcopal bishop Rev. V. Gene Robinson was asked to deliver the opening prayer at the Sunday inaug kickoff event, but for some reason this invocation was not televised. Censorship? Spokespeople for the Obama campaign said the choice to ask an openly gay bishop to deliver an invocation at another event was not related to the complaints about Rick Warren or appeasing anyone. According to them, the choice was an independent one, showing that though Barack ostensibly opposed "gay marriage", he is certainly for civil rights and full equality under the law for gay men and women who wish to partner legally. From a political standpoint, many feel that supporting gay marriage might have alienated the people of color base that he was hoping to bring into the voting booths. This hypothesis seemed to prove true, where in California Barack was overwhelmingly elected, yet prop 8 passed. It was later released that demographically, people of color voted for Barack and largely voted to shoot down gay marriage. In his speech though, Barack mentioned gays along with other racial groups, which I think is a huge step forward for this country.

It was such a moving display, wasn't it? It was so amazing to feel so proud of our country again. I feel like we really done good this time. I'm excited by the prospect of beginning a new era in our country, and starting this new era with such unity and such great HOPE.

Just as a final side not I really think people should start saying inaug for short. Its so sensible!! Try using it in a sentence today.

"yeah, I hope not sporadically"

Sickie poo

I have been around sick people for almost 2 months, and I have been a pillar of health. Until today. Maybe seeing my Constantine through what ended up being a quite grueling tonsillectomy put me over the edge. I'm not sure. But today I am down for the count.

BUT here is the good news. I have my iphone alarm set for 20 minutes. Every 20 minutes a really fierce cut of Jojo's "Too Little Too Late" pours out of my iphone to remind me to drink a glass of water. No one can accuse me of not pushing fluids. "I'm a pusher Cady. I'm a pusher!" Name that quote anyone?!

I feel inside my body the temperature rising to try to take down the virus that seems to be fighting just as hard. My body feels weak because of this immunity battle that is raging within. It won't be long now before the white blood cells seek and destroy. I see them now cascading through my body, overtaking the odious enemy.

Its happening now. I am getting better...

Ok intention set!

Rumi

The way of love is not
a subtle argument.

The door there
is devastation.

Birds make great sky-circles
of their freedom.
How do they learn it?

They fall, and falling,
they're given wings.

A sensible rant, but with restraint

On any given weekend night, in any given medium to larger metropolis you will find the people packed in. Into where you ask? Is it meetinghouses? Is it quiet coffee nooks? Is it their living rooms? Not so much. They are packed into the swankiest bar they know of.

Don't judge me for this. I was just in a bar less than 10 minutes ago. This whole culture is so unfamiliar to me that I literally felt like I walked into a space ship populated by aliens sizing me up to see what I'm made of. Here is what I feel. My voice hurts from talking over the pumping loud music. I saw about 6 friends, most of whom I have not seen for months. As I hugged them and said hello and started the conversation, I couldn't help but think it: is this the best place for me to catch up with these people.


Its dark. Its crowded. Its HELLA loud. People are out looking wealthy and happy, even if they are not. They are tipsy from drink. Although I am so grateful to have seen my friends all in one place I can't help but wish I could have been able to see all of them in another context. I know its too much to wish for to have us all meet at a metaphorical campfire and read some Poe while we cuddle, reminisce and roast marshmallows (again, metaphor).

What is it with these bars? What is it that brings these people together from an anthropological standpoint? Historically places like the well or the watering hole become places where people gather. Everyone needs water, right? Everyone needs it every day. What does the swanky bar offer that can be compared to the watering hole. Is it the alcohol? Is it the ability to see and be seen? Is it the opportunity to be a part of a community of like minded people? I am really asking.

The other thing I want to know is this: am I missing something? Are bars the bees knees and I am just missing the boat? My one hunch is that if I drank alcohol more frequently I would probably understand more the appeal of the bar atmosphere. But would that be a good thing?

One remnant of my mormon past is that I am not a frequent imbiber of alcoholic beverages. I'm really not against it in moderation, honestly. I just am not convinced that moderation is what is being practiced here. Am I being judgy? I'm looking for comments.

The Best Romantic Comedy

Last Chance Harvey. I just saw this film with Constantine tonight. I have to say, it was one of the just simply best movies I have seen in a while. Emma Thompson and Dustin Hoffman. Amazing. That is all I am going to say. Go see it, it is great. They are just such titans of acting.. so truthful, sincere, subtle, and real. When you see it, call me so we can discuss it.

Gay is the new black

I wasn't as devastated as some LGBT people were about the passing of prop 8 in California. As I have said a million times, I truly don't know what in the world the YES on 8 side is trying to accomplish when gay marriage is already legal in MA and now CT. Particularly from the mormon standpoint. The LDS church is worldwide church! Why fight so hard in California when 2 other states already allow gay marriage, not to mention Canada, several countries in Europe etc. Are the souls of the people living in those states and countries not worth protecting against the evil that gay marriage will bring upon them? Why fight in California and not elsewhere? Or, as Elle Woods would say.. "Why now? Why this sperm?"

I suppose I wasn't devastated because I feel that marriage equality is inevitable. I have heard many people say that history is on our side, and as someone's T-shirt read at a rally I recently attended:


Today I read this press release:

(San Francisco, CA, January 15, 2009)—Today, hundreds of religious organizations, civil rights groups, and labor unions, along with numerous California municipal governments, bar associations, and leading legal scholars collectively urged the California Supreme Court to strike down Proposition 8.

It followed:

In a brief filed on January 14, 2009, the California Council of Churches and other religious leaders and faith organizations representing millions of members discussed the harm Proposition 8 poses to religious minorities.

“Proposition 8 poses a grave threat to religious freedom,” said Rev. Rick Schlosser, Executive Director of the California Council of Churches. “If the Court permits same-sex couples to be deprived of equal protection by a simple majority vote, religious minorities could be denied equal protection as well—a terrible injustice in a nation founded by people who emigrated to escape religious persecution. If the Court permits Proposition 8 to take effect, religious discrimination similarly could be written into California's Constitution.”


I found this to be extremely ironic. One of the things I heard most frequently from members of the LDS church regarding the legality of gay marriage was that marriage equality would eventually diminish the rights of certain religious groups. Particularly those religions who refused to perform gay marriages in their temples and churches. In fact, this was one of the main highlights on the official church video featuring Elder Bednar about prop 8 and why mormons should fall in line and be FOR prop 8. Whether purposeful or not, this was not true. The May overturn of the previously existing gay marriage ban in California clearly stated that no religious organization would be forced to perform gay marriages. The overturn protected the first amendment rights of religions as well as those of queer people wishing to wed their beloved partners of choice. To lead religious people to believe that their rights were in jeopardy was effective, but blatantly dishonest. It is particularly sad to think that this information was available to anyone who wanted to find it. It was not hidden in piles of rhetoric or lawyer-ese. It was clearly stated in the court report.

What is again ironic is that by using a majority vote in California, certain groups were able to remove the rights of a minority group. That is what happened. Um, doesn't that scare churches more than gay marriage??! A mere 51% can take away your right to whatever they choose to take away. Isn't that scary? Particularly the LDS church that has been often so repressed and persecuted. How could they willingly stifle another minority group? How could they forget what it is like to be told that what they believe to be the truth is something abhorrent to a more powerful group of people? Is this what the church wants to do with their growing reputation in America that they have worked so hard to build up? And again.. WHAT DOES IT GIVE THEM? The nebulous but ever-ubiquitous "destruction of the traditional family" has been warded off I suppose. But again I have to wonder, is the world falling apart in Massachusetts? Is it falling apart in Canada? Is the Netherlands a present day inferno; devoid of righteousness?

I have a very good friend who is a convert to the church who called me to ask for my advice. She said to me that all her coworkers were giving her a very hard time about her faith, as well as her stance on proposition 8. She said, "I am actually not opposed to gay marriage, but I just can't stand by and let my religious freedoms become jeopardized." I was like, HUH? Is that what people have been telling you is going to happen if prop 8 doesn't pass? I felt bad for her as a convert especially being put in that position. She was told things that were not true and that made no logical sense, yet made to feel that she had to either support them or go against a loving Heavenly Father. One of my brothers was placed in a similar situation. He felt he had to choose to either support me or support God. God won. But did he? DID HE? (S.D. that's for you)

I don't know how this particular situation will play out. I do believe, however, in that principle called KARMA, or in mormon-ese, the law of the harvest. I'd be more afraid of that than the disintegration of the fiber of society, especially if you are sowing seeds of intolerance and using less than the truth to become more powerful in the world. I can't judge the church leaders who made these decisions, because I don't understand their motives in the least. I do feel though that no one can stop the tide of love and acceptance that is washing over this earth. Not even a "hallowed hand" can. This is our fate as human beings-- to learn all the lessons that will help us to realize the truth: we are all one. We are all connected.

Is this pretty?

I'm thinking of getting it for a special someone for her birthday.

Doesn't this model kind of look like Michelle Pfeiffer?

Life and Death

Today around 3pm a bird flew into an airplane engine shortly after it left la guardia airport. The pilot told the people on the plane that they should brace themselves: the plane was going to crash. Less than 20 seconds later, the plane hit the water. Because of the quick response from Ferry Boats, ambulances, firemen and police officers, not a single person died. There were 155 people on the plane, including 2 infant children. Even in the freezing waters of the Husdon, the response was fast enough to get everyone out of the water and to safety. The pilot was truly the hero, from choosing to land in a place where help would be readily accessible, to executing what is literally a miracle landing. It makes me cry to think of the terror that those people must've experienced knowing that they were going to crash. One young man said that he was clutching hands with the strangers next to him, and all he heard around him were people praying for their lives. Can you imaging what those 15 seconds must've been like? EVERYONE LIVED. EVERYONE SURVIVED TO LIVE MORE OF THEIR LIVES. What an impact I think it would make to face death like that and walk away still given the opportunity to stay here. I think it would forever change a person's outlook.




When I was 15 years old my mom was driving all my siblings and me up to Utah for the summer. While driving through Colorado we ran into a terrible storm. Though conditions were quickly deteriorating, my mom decided that we should keep going and try to outrun the storm. After about a half hour, the small hail balls were starting to get larger and larger until they were nearly reaching the size of tennis balls, and were hitting our van with a lot of impact. Fearing that these oversized hail balls might break our windows or damage the van, my mom decided to follow suit with several other cars on the freeway, and seek shelter under an overpass. We watched in horror as the sky blackened, the rain worsened, and the winds increased. Our panic began to rise collectively as the van started to quiver like a leaf in the wind. It felt like we were going to be picked up and carelessly tossed by the storm. Suddenly all the windows of our van imploded and smashed to bits. We started screaming. My mom cried out for us to hide under the seats and under the sleeping bags and blankets that were laying about the van. I remember that my sister Karen, who was a toddler at the time, ended up with me under the back seat. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and struggling to get out from under the sleeping bag I was using to protect us. I was doing my best to keep her under the covers to protect her, but she was fighting me to get out. She didn't understand what was going on, and was terrified. Eventually, I let her out from under the sleeping bag, thinking that maybe if she looked out of the broken windows and saw the storm, she would understand. As we both came out of the sleeping bag and looked outside, we saw a huge black funnel cloud passing less than a few miles away. It was wreaking havoc on everything in its path, and it was SO CLOSE to us. At that moment I realized that I was going to die. I pulled Karen back under the covers and I just sat in that moment. I said to myself, "so this is what it feels like to die" In that moment I also remember thinking of all the things I had hoped I would get to do in my life, and how none of that would happen now. I always thought I would live a long life, and I accepted in that moment that I had been wrong. I was going to die at 15. This was my new reality, my new truth.

Somehow, the winds slowed down eventually. I was still alive. No one in my family was injured. Shortly, rescue teams came to see if we were hurt. I remember they gave us blankets. We ended up driving into town with all of our windows (including the windshield) broken. All the hotels were full, so we stayed in the lobby of a hotel along with what seemed like hundreds of other people who had been in the tornado. I remember that night vividly. The dark room we were in, all the people there, the hard floor, the thin worn carpet.

I think this experience profoundly affected my life. Facing death changes you.. or to put it a different way, Tai from Clueless says, "when you're about to die, suddenly things become really clear." It's true. I will forever be grateful to still be here. And I think I will forever feel so much for people like those in the plane crash today. I think I maybe understand a little of what it feels like to be saved.